a view of the unknown

2007-04-15T18:33:00.000+01:00

A lot of us use the web in our every day lives. We book holidays on it, we order our groceries, or we even apply for jobs on it. But the problem with the web is that it's dynamic. Why is that a problem I hear you say? When we buy things or read information about a product or service, we are being told information from the web site that we believe is what we get. But of course, that web site can change and we can lose all evidence of the previous information. Usually this is to fix an error that they were previously unaware of. I am a believer that a large company should be responsible for the mistakes that they put on their web site. Even if it is simply an acknowledgement that they made a mistake, rather than changing the rules and expect us to just like it.

Why do I mention this? I recently purchased a few X-Celerator tickets for Alton Towers which, at the time of buying I was led to believe it allowed priority access to all rides, with any number of goes on each ride.

However, a few days later the web site changed and only said, "one entry per ride". Having brought the most expensive ticket Alton Towers offer, expecting something that doesn't cost them any more money, I was a little frustrated that they could do something like this without explanation. So, from their web site, I rang the number listed and they simply said, "we don't deal with the web site here". Huh? Well who does, because their number was on the web site! So, under their instruction I emailed their team lead for clarification on *why* the web site changed, and who is accountable for the wrong information that I made my purchase over. There has been no response at the time of writing.

So, sure, I am ranting here, but it's a valid point. Large companies need to be able to talk to their customers who are affected by changes they make on their web site. The left hand needs to talk the right hand; not slap it in the face. As a customer, I do enjoy catching large companies out and making sure they hear my voice. If I didn't, I wouldn't be working for IBM since they changed the application deadline on the web site after I had started to fill in an application. If I hadn't printed out the original date from their web site (which was by pure chance), I would not be working for them. They changed the rules, and I got lucky I could prove what they had done. A reason why the dynamic web content isn't good for the little people.

But alas, I went to Alton Towers yesterday, equipped with my X-Celerator ticket. After pursuing the web site issues I had with them, I managed to get (by a good will gesture of Alton Towers staff), 4 additional goes on rides that we could choose. This was a nice result; despite still wanting to have them admit that, yes, they did change it and we were caught out by their mistake!

Issues aside, the trip to Alton Towers was fantastic! The weather was perfect and I got on soooo many rides. Here is a list of all the rides which I went on:

Spinball Whizzer, Oblivion, Submission, Enterprise, Hex, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, Skyride, Rita Queen of Speed, Corkscrew, The Flume, River Rapids, Duel, Runaway Mine Train, Nemesis, Ripsaw, Air, Air, Nemesis and The Flume.

Yep, that's 19 rides in one day. Pretty good going! I guess my favourite ride is Air and the most intense was Ripsaw. Not because of the motion or speed, but because they spray freezing cold water in your face that felt like diving head first into a lake - especially when it goes up your nose!

All in all, I would easily spend the extra money on the X-Celerator tickets again. The longest queue time was about 10 minutes. Awesome!

That was a nice way to end my week long holiday. I did however squeeze in time to paint a picture before I pack up and head back South ready for starting the constant deadlines, progress reporting and overtime. It's nothing fancy, just this:

2007-03-25T16:44:00.000+01:00

I seem to be burning through this year far too quickly. It's been a over a month since my last post. As I said before, I feel 2007 will just fly by; and so far, I'm right. I dunno why, but I actually feel like 2008 will be a better year.

So why this feeling? Simple. Too much to do, and too little time to do it in. I have also realised that I have an addiction. I'm addicted to trying to do everything leaving me in the category of "Jack of all trades, master of none". And it's true. In fact, knowing this is nothing new. My shelf contains at least 45 training DVDs from traditional drawing, painting, music to 3D modelling and animation. As it stands, I only have enough time to spend about an hour on these in a given month.

So, it's a given month, and the good news is that I've managed to produce something from the modo training series. Nothing too fancy.

I feel like my life at the moment is just a chapter. It's just a matter of time when I'm ready to turn the page and write a new one.

2007-02-14T00:27:00.000Z

If I seem happy it's simply because I don't want to bore you with the details. This week is going to be a very tough week. The Blue Fusion video is coming to a close, and so is a deadline on in the day job. The harsh truth of the matter is that both sides require 100% of my attention. Right now, that's 200% more than I'm wanting to give. But even if I don't know the exact route on how to get through this, time will grab me by the hand and pull me through.

But in the midst of all this frustration, relaxation was sought with a little dry point printing.

2007-02-07T21:12:00.000Z

We're 12th through 2007 already, and sure, the time is going fast. Life at the moment is rather hectic with doing overtime at work, pressure to complete the Blue Fusion video, and of course, doing the usual things like evening classes and well, living in general.

Last Wednesday I attended an open day at Bournemouth University as I was keen to know more about their Masters in 3D Animation course. I managed to know a lot more about the course, chat with the tutors, chat with some students (who were trying to get on with their 3D projects) and chat some more with the tutors in the student union. What can I say, if I had the chance to do the couse, I would. It would appear now that doing this course will be the main driving focus to my creative endeavours. I just also need to find the 20K to be able to do it though. But rather than convince myself that it wont happen, I'll convince myself that it will happen, even if it takes a few years yet.

Putting that aside, I'm lined up with two new video projects through work (again, not related to the day job). This would be the 2007 Blue Fusion video and the Extreme Blue video. Should be good fun, but hopefully I wont be tied up in the day job to cause problems with these ones.

My guitar course has come to an end, and after 11 weeks of lessons I have concluded that it was a nice introduction to the acoustic guitar. No, I can't play the guitar. But I understand it a lot more, and have a great basis for when I want to pick it up and give it a go. I have also decided that while understanding guitar tabs is nice, I do miss having the knowledge of sheet music. So I've picked up a couple of books on reading music to read for when I go to bed. Shame I can only manage about 2 pages before I start to nod off. However, what this has made me realise is that I want to get back into learning the piano - eh, but not just yet.

However, coming back to my drawing and painting course, I've completed my next piece using oil paints and, what was intended to be the glazing technique. I will admit though, I was struggling a little with the water, reflections and the reeds, so the tutor did take hold of the brush and show me the way. I'm still fairly pleased with this though, and after all, the paintings so far are just to get a feel for what the medium is like.

2007-01-10T23:10:00.000Z

Well, I started to play around with some concept art for a project idea. Just really playing about with ideas to see how things develop. Depending on how much time I get will depend on how well the project goes. But nonetheless, here's a sketch of the main character:

2007-01-09T23:41:00.000Z

The flights are booked. Yep, the holiday for this year is now official and myself, Tim and Robert shall be heading off to New York on the 1st June and returning on the 29th June from San Francisco. We're yet to plan the trip in-between, but at least we've secured our flights.

Aside from that, life has returned to normal. I'm now back at my house after having been away, back to work and of course back to college. So, on the topic of painting, today we had an introduction with oil paints and canvas. Alas, here is my first ever oil painting:

2007-01-03T23:34:00.000Z

Happy New Year!

A bit late I know. In fact, this post feels like it's a bit late considering it's been over a month since my last. Well, December felt like one of those months where it was very busy, yet so little is achieved. All that present buying just takes up too much time!

So a reflection on 2005. Whoah, I mean 2006! Wow that year went quick. Seriously, putting those Christmas decorations up at work felt so wrong as I didn't feel like there was enough time since last Christmas. Is that a sign of getting old? Probably. But it's also a sign of a never changing scenery. For example, if you're doing the same thing a year later in your work project, where's the closure?

But anyway, a reflection of 2006. I don't recall having a New Year's resolution for 2006, so I can't really say if I achieved what I set out to achieve. So here's a reflection of the small things that happened:

I started a blog and entered the world of Web 2.0 by sharing my journey in an "online collaboration and sharing among users" (minus the collaboration bit)
I did the Blue Fusion 2006 video
My brother's company brought a shop and got a warehouse and I got all those web updates done
I set up a MySpace and Bebo page; just cause I could
I started a beginner course in the acoustic guitar
I started a course in drawing and painting
I worked on two TV ads [1] [2]
I got my quick and dirty new portfolio site up

... and that's about it.

What's new for 2007?

I get the feeling that 2007 will fly by just as 2006 did where nothing major will really happen. Simply because I can predict the projects I'm needed for in the first half of the year. Plus I now realise the harsh truth that my spare time does spread ever so thinly.

Last Christmas I said to myself, "this time next year I want to know what the next step in my future will be". A year later and I clearly don't know. I keep saying that I'll move on from IBM after a couple of years, and for the time being, that's something I still believe (eluding from the fact that I've been there for 2 years already).

I am simply not ready to jump ship and move on; and I don't believe that 2007 will bring that opportunity either. But I do believe 2007 can give the clarity and preparation I need to know where I'm to go next. 2008 feels like a good year.

So what are my New Year's resolutions for 2007? In my mind I know the things that need resolving for this year. But in some way, I would rather this blog be a place of the things I've done, rather than talking about the things I've not done. So I've decided to keep my New Year's resolutions to myself. I shall make a list which shall be archived for a further 12 months. And this time next year I'll be ready to share what I've achieved on that list.

But on the topic of things that I've done, I received my modo training and completed the first project. And here are the results:

2006-11-29T23:00:00.000Z

Well this week I managed to install a copy of my pre-release Vue 6 Infinite package. Naturally though, it being a pre-release it's not without it's bugs. But seeing as I work as a software tester, that's just like being at home. And the good news is, if I find a problem, I get to report it making me feel like I've made a positive contribution to the software I love.

There's something very satisfying being able to break out the graphics tablet and paint my landscape, paint the trees and paint the grass and plants. They say that God made the heavens and the earth. I say that he'd have done it a lot quicker with a Wacom!

So lo and behold, here's what my first Vue 6 scene came out like:

2006-11-25T00:08:00.000Z

Not much has really happened over the past few weeks. Well, at least not much that I can show. I've started playing with water colours in my drawing and painting course where we'll be doing more of that next week. My first impression however is that water colours are very hard to get right.

The guitar course is going well. It's a lot of fun, despite not having had much time to practice. But at least I always leave the class feeling buzzed.

Aside from that and an increasing schedule at work, I've also been making slow progress with the Blue Fusion video. There's still a lot to do and I'm a short way off breaking out the CG to spice it up a little. It would be nice if this project was complete, but heh, that's life.

Amongst other projects, there is quite a bit going on simultaneously with the freelance work which is making it hard to focus on the creative ventures. But there's certainly a lot out there that can keep the motivation flowing. Here are a couple of things I've found recently that must be shared:

Piece of Mind is an interesting and surreal short with some rather funky CG compositing added.

Peter Sanitra's showreel is (as it stands) the most inspiration CG portfolio that I've seen. Simply amazing!

Vue Infinite 6 is now in a pre-release stage where people can get their hands on the new funky features. The demo reel looks amazing so I'll have a new piece of software to experiment with.

2006-11-10T01:43:00.000Z

Just a quick update really as it's way past my bed time. It's a challenging week this week as I'm trying to complete this Blue Fusion video earlier than I'd have hoped. But at the same time, I'll be really relieved when it's done. I've got a weekend ahead of solid editing.

In other news though, I've created me a bebo account, just because I could. And I got bored from editing on Wednesday, so I decided to unwind with a little ArtRage...

2006-11-01T00:49:00.000Z

Not really much more to say about the past few days. I did however manage to did something out of the archives though. It's okay, it's about as tame as the Indiana Jones ride, but then again, what do I know?

What's new? Well I've got my new portfolio site up which can be found at www.fxcv.com.

My guitar class is going well, but still learning the basics and today in my art class I got to use Oil Pastels and managed to produce this sweet little picture:

2006-10-26T14:39:00.000+01:00

What a busy last few days. At the weekend I was in the Dublin area visiting Tim and John, and of course, the studio in Bray town. All I can say is that I wont be recommending Hertz car rentals with their under 25's insurance surcharge, not giving me the 5 seater car I asked for, 1200 euro excess that can't be reduced, and of course, putting in the wrong return point on the GPS system.

Aside from that I had a great time and made sure that I got to see the RTE ad on TV and got to eat in an Eddie Rockets diner. Although I didn't get to see the RTE advert in the cinema, I did see it during the half time of the Manchester United Vs. Liverpool match on Sky Sports ... awesome! (despite having no interest in football whatsoever)

As for my Eddie Rockets venture, well, here's the photo evidence:

yum, yum!

Once the ad has been approved by the client and has gone on air, I'll make sure to get a version for all to see here.

After arriving back to Luton on Monday night, it was time to head up to Yorkshire to see my brother, his 46" HDTV, and of course, the newly reorganised mattress shop; which is looking very nice indeed. That was a great two days and I now have a few days to relax.

So what can one do with free time? Well, why not draw a picture using pastels. That is exactly what I did, and here's the results:

I've got a few new project bubbling at the moment which I'm going to put some time into planning. But aside from that, I need to get my act together and complete that Blue Fusion video sooner than later.

2006-10-18T21:55:00.000+01:00

I'll be honest; this week I have lost quite a bit of motivation. Normally I have some clear goals in sight, whereas at the moment I can't see them. Today I woke up and couldn't find any motivating reason to get out of bed. Alas, I still had to as going to work was on my todo list.

But as I laid there I thought, what do I want out of life and how do I get it? In some respects, I don't actually know the answer to the first part, let alone answer the second. From time to time I feel like the world can be a small place. I feel that no matter where I would be, I'd still feel that air of solitude in my trueman show that has an audience of one. The sad truth is that I'm too far forward to be able to turn around and head back. My life is from this point on, and there's no reliving the times that I remember to be worthy of reliving.

So what has sparked this? Maybe it's a side effect of having been at home the past weekend where I managed to see a friend who I knew in school. Seeing him made me feel young again and reminded me the good times of my childhood. But feelings like that are only short and brief and real life must commence. I can't help but feel I'm a child just playing grown up. I've always felt it, and I think I always will. But the child in me is missing the things that easily please. Life at the moment is strung together by a few strands of mild interest that is supposed to build the bigger picture.

Somethings in my mind I play out the scene if I were to completely change my life. What if I quit my job and moved to Yorkshire to continue my freelance life there? What if I were to quit my job and move to Dublin and set up a studio with my two friends? I know I wont move back to Luton as that is simply trying to relive a past that just doesn't exist anymore. The real question is, what life can I have if I continue to do what I'm doing? How long will it be before I realise that change is the only way to allow me to find what I'm looking for?

One thing is for sure though. A true lack of motivation can be the seed of a new motivation. Not necessarily about reaching your goal, but one about finding the goal to reach for. Right now, my goal is to find what I'm looking for that will make me a happy in the long term. But until then, it's going to be a paint by numbers of the smaller pieces that interest me until I can see that bigger picture.

But all this that I'm feeling is a normal progression that people feel as they 'grow up'. As people from your generation start to settle down, you realise how the circle of life really works. I'm the uncle now, not the nephew, and as my life hasn't evolved how I'd like in order to enter this adulthood, I feel like a spirit stuck between life and the afterlife.

But it's not all doom and gloom. The things that have moved on from my last post are that I've finally started my acoustic guitar course. Seems like it's going to be a lot of fun and the class seem like a good bunch. However, it will be a lot of hard work and will involve a lot of practice. This will determine if it's something I truly want to do based on how much I stick with it.

Then I had my drawing and painting course. We used soft pastels to draw some fruit in colour. Here are two pieces that I created. The first is just a quick test with the pastels and the second is the still life drawing.

2006-10-15T00:37:00.000+01:00

It's incredible what you can produce after a few moments of doodling with a tablet. You suddenly find yourself with an idea forming and the motivation to spend longer working on it. I have two new updates on my digital painting front.

The next piece was a quick doodle of a poor quality printout that happened to be laying on my tablet. So I traced the paper, as it laid there, then filled in the colour after.

2006-10-12T00:22:00.000+01:00

Here is an attempt at freehand drawing and painting. I used a photo reference, but everything had to be recreated by eye.

2006-10-10T22:15:00.000+01:00

What can I say, I've fallen in love. Yep, I've fallen in love with my Wacom. But that aside, this relationship has proved to be somewhat useful. To start with, my first attempt of painting clouds.

But it doesn't stop there. Using a photo reference I managed to produce something with a little more drama in it.

So having my art course cancelled for this evening hasn't been a complete loss. However, the real challenges are drawing a physical object (rather than a photo reference), and drawing from memory or imagination. The truth be told, anyone can copy. The true artist is the one who can navigate that visual space using only their mind's eye. But at least I'm getting to grips with the tools which should aid that journey into the creative mind.

One a side note, I rediscovered an old art project on the web. Imagine a never ending picture...
http://www.duracel.de/zoom/zoom.htm

2006-10-09T23:16:00.000+01:00

I finally received my new graphics tablet today, and after a brief play with it, I'm very, very impressed. With a full A4 working area, pressure sensitivity and even tilt sensitivity, it's quite a pleasure to work with.

Here is my very first ArtRage piece in a matter of moments with the new tablet...

Then with a little more preparation, I followed an ArtRage tutorial to produce this...

And while the above image was technically traced, here is my attempt of drawing what I can see. The subject is the nice pen stand that came with my graphics tablet.

Me finks this will be a lot of fun!

2006-10-07T17:04:00.000+01:00

Everybody has a good day, and everybody has a bad day. Today started well, but I suddenly crashed with a lack of motivation and a lack of direction. A day like today usually comes around once every month or so; and was the reason I started this blog. It'll pass, but sometimes it's worth paying attention to the reasoning why today is filled with an air of despondency.

Could it be diet? Maybe this laziness is caused by the food that I eat and the exercise that I get. It could be my body's way of saying, "Hey! I need some attention here". And maybe it does.

Could it be stress? I actually think it might be the opposite. You see, I've noticed that I'm most creative when I'm deprived of the time to carry out my creative aspirations. This weekend is a somewhat relaxed one and I seem to be having 'time to kill' rather than 'time to cherish'.

Could it be because of the start of Autumn? I somewhat believe this has an affect. I've always noticed that I can feel an unexpected happiness in summer, so one would assume an unexpected sadness in winter, right?

Could it be too much solitude? Yesterday I worked from home waiting for a parcel that never arrived. Add that to a weekend, and you end up with three days without any other direct human interaction. Could this be the reason? Highly plausible I think.

So what benefit can be gained from this? Well, maybe it's a good opportunity to see how things have gone since my first blog post as it has been over five months of travelling into the unknown. I outlined a few desires and ambitions that I wanted out of life. Lets have a look to see where things are at...

Art

I'm still no artist, but for those that have been following my blog will see that I've taken action and enrolled on a course. While my drawing and painting course is going good, my music course has been postponed for another week.

I have taken a very quick photograph of my first two art pieces that I'm happy to share:

Charcoal Drawing

This was my first piece of work and I used charcoal for the first time. While I'm pleased with it, the proportions are far from accurate. But heh, everyone has to start somewhere.

Line and Tone

This piece was to draw a series of images to demonstrate line, tone and texture (the latter of which I'm yet to do). I'm pleased with the results of this one, but the subjects aren't all to ocaptivating though.

My Future

In contrast to my first post, I'm living my future right now. Since that time I survived a vital phase in my freelance work for my brother's company, and subsequently it continues to grow to strengthen my position to 'jump ship' and join the freelance crowd. I've also had the opportunity to work on two TV ads, one of which has made it to cinemas.

I would say this is a step in the right direction to securing my future. But again, I'm lost on what I need to do to make that transition to going freelance as I don't want to work from the prison of my own home.

A healthy body to a healthy mind

This area of my life needs a little attention, but I'm working on it.

Companionship

It is truly amazing how it is possible to avoid such a dependency by making yourself truly busy. Put me in a room long enough and I will feel sad, alone and sorry for myself. The only medicine for me is to use creativity and ambition to distract myself. It is surprising how being busy can numb that desire of compassion and just get on with life believing that everything is good.

I am the type of person who believes that I have the ability to do whatever I want with my life. If I want to be good at art, I can; by, well, doing art. If I want to be good at playing music, I can; by, well, playing music. But if I want to find that special someone, then the rules change. It's no longer about, 'what I can do'. It's about something much more tricky. With simple questions such as, 'how to find the right person' and 'how to be the right person', it's no longer directly in my control. There are some people who could walk out of a relationship and right into the next, and I admire them at being able to seize such an opportunity. Simply put, I am not one of those people. While I am looking for a secure future and someone to share it with, it looks like I'll be going it alone for the time being.

So on that note, I would like to share to you something I found. While completely detached from all emotion, it does somewhat make you think about the time you are spending, and the time you are wasting.

One, then two, then three.

Tomorrow is of course another day, lets hope it's a new one.

2006-09-27T22:39:00.000+01:00

Inspiration is the key to give us the desire to achieve. After having started my first drawing and painting lesson and having a go a charcoal drawing, I feel somewhat inspired by art. Today a friend told me about a program called ArtRage and all I can say is, "Wow! What a program". It combines a very nice way to paint digitally focusing on the artists needs rather than photographer's or designer's tools that Photoshop does. What's even more, it only costs £12.95; a true bargain. In fact, at a price that low, I still feel like I'm stealing it even after purchasing. Much cheaper than Corel Painter that comes in at a cool £200; but lets not even consider the Photoshop pricing.

But while a program doesn't make the artist, and in my case, this is why I've taken the painting and drawing course in the first place, there are plenty of inspirational pieces of work. So lets take a look:

Lounge in the city
MyLand
Industrial-24/7

But clearly, all hats go off to Waheed Nasir on some stunning pieces of work. Check out the gallery and even the music section.

On the topic of music, my acoustic guitar course has been postponed by two weeks, so I shall live my life in silence until then.

Now down to some of the real work. My claim to fame for this week is having friends and family see a TV ad that I had the pleasure of working on. This is the RTE 2fm advert which is now showing nationally across Ireland and can be viewed here. As I've mentioned before, my involvement was the motion tracking, chroma keying and box zooming composition.

Furthermore, most of the work for the Eddie Rockets had has been completed and it is now in review with the client. I'll give an update on that when the ad has gone on TV.

2006-09-16T14:52:00.000+01:00

I've been told the RTE 2fm ad has now gone out on air in Ireland, and even in cinemas! Tim did a fantastic job on that project and I'm thrilled to have been able to make a contribution to some of the composition work.

So for new developments this week, I've now been given the opportunity to produce a CG intro and outro to an Eddie Rockets diner advert, which will be aired over in Ireland. What a fantastic opportunity being able to have my CG work aired on TV! The deadline is however just over a week away, and as I'm at Disneyland next week for a couple of days, the only time I'll have is really at the weekends.

Other than that, I decided that doing a Painting and Drawing part-time course just simply isn't enough. I've now enrolled onto a beginners acoustic guitar course; so that'll go nicely with my nice new red acoustic guitar.

But, in the mean time, I've managed to dig out a few more things from the archive. For example, an early car model project (made with Animation:Master):

Over the years, I've even had a play around with Terragen, and here's what I managed to come up with - very basic, I know! But as time permits, I'll be doing more landscape work with Vue Infinite.

And here's something on a micro scale - even though I don't actually know what it's meant to be...

That's enough 3D for the moment. I do have some photography to share as well. Here's one of my favorite photos of: me, Robert, Tim and John (in that order).

Of course, its nice to be able to keep things simple with some black and white photography, so here's a collection of photos I took.

Enough now as I'd better get started on this Eddie Rockets ad.

2006-09-10T14:49:00.000+01:00

Ever get that feeling that you're standing at the bottom of a mountain with the desire to climb to the top. Now, I'm not referring to actually taking part is some outdoor excursion whereby I exhaust myself by even making it to the base of a mountain. And if I were, I'd have to take a trusty dog with me, at least they'd know where to go.

But alas, no its not a mountain I'm referring to, but a desire to achieve something great and challenging. This is where I am now.

As I mentioned before, I'm due to be starting a Painting and Drawing course in a couple of weeks. I'm getting more and more excited about it. But for anyone who knows me, I can never just stop there. I have a couple of other plans in progress, but I wont spoil what that is just yet.

The problem I have is that I'm interested in too many things. Normally, when someone goes through an unmotivated stage and don't fancy doing anything, I tend to find that my motivation switches instead. When I'm not exciting about 3D, I'm exciting about something else, whether it's filmmaking, music, art; and many more. But the funny thing is, even though all these interests are somewhat different, I have a master plan to bring them altogether into a single project - thus my mountain.

I'm slightly buzzed about music at the moment, and buying a cheap acoustic guitar off eBay has been somewhat exciting. Even though I have an electric guitar, I figure that it would more convenient to learn an acoustic before switching. And if I get good at both, I have a nice little treat in store for myself.

So while we're on the topic of music, here's a sample of some of the previous pieces I've created using Reason.

Somethin' Somethin' - 2:32 - 2.9MB
Hollow - 4:02 - 2.77MB
TheOffer - 6:15 - 4.29MB

So what's happened in the last week? Well, on Wednesday, we had our Blue Fusion interview shoot. The day went really well and I got a lot of practice at setting up all the lighting, cameras and microphones. It's also my first chance to record in HD, even though the final project is 4:3 SD. The result of this now means I have an awful lot of editing to do, along with the CG intro and outro sequences and music sequencing.

The bottom line is, the next few months are going to be very challenging if I'm to get something valuable out of it. There's too much to do and too little time to do it; but at least I'll know what I'm capable of at the end.

2006-09-03T15:58:00.000+01:00

Where does the time go? I don't mean the last week as I can recall what happened there. But the past few years. Is it that I don't have the time to progress that I feel like time is disappearing?

I was digging through the archives the other day and came across some funky little projects from the past. Here's some of what I dug up:

Manny Worth - May 2005 - 116MB
A final year project for a friend. I did all the music sequencing for this movie in one night. Yep, I got to bed at about 7am that night. The film is a great story about addiction.

Can you spare 5 minutes - April 2005 - 37.3MB
A short film about a guy swamped by street salespeople. I sequenced the music in this film.

Bargain - November 2002 - 21.4MB
I have a small role in this movie, but rather menacing nonetheless. It's about a woman who hires a hitman to kill her partner.

But alas, this is the more recent stuff. I'll put some of the even earlier work on here in time.

The good news is that on my holiday I did managed to work on a high-profile TV ad for the Irish radio station, RTE 2fm. I got my hands dirty with some chroma keying and motion tracking. The ad will be going out to all major TV stations out there an even in cinemas. Hopefully there'll be more work like that in the future.

So what now? What's next on the cards? Well, I feel like I'm in a bit of limbo at the moment. New major updates are about kick off in my web freelancing work, plus I have a busy schedule with some video projects.

On Wednesday I'm shooting various interviews for the Blue Fusion video I'm producing. That will involve a heavy amount of editing and needs to be done as soon as possible (what projects don't eh?). Then immediately after that, its back to editing the long-overdue HTX video. Only then can I have a clearer outlook of my time ahead.

Projects I want to work on after include the Dreamer's Dream music video and a short film with the filmmaking club at work.

On a side note though, I will be starting a Drawing and Painting course in a couple of weeks. I can't wait. I've been stocking up on lots of materials from eBay. I'll aim to post up some of my work as the course progresses.

People do ask me how I manage to find the time for everything I do. I've said it before that doing 2 jobs, working on video projects, editing TV ads, doing a part-time course and trying to explore my talents in 3D are all quite time consuming. Yes, sacrifices are made in one's life to accommodate for everything. But I think the true answer is the passion. I love doing the things that make me go the extra mile to do it. But I will always say that this way of life is only temporary. I mean, there's only so long one can go asking the question, "girlfriend, what's one of those?".

2006-08-14T16:49:00.000+01:00

So I've got two weeks off from work. The problem is that I've planned to do so much in these two weeks, that its hard to actually do anything. I've got 16 training DVDs sitting in front of me covering topics from LightWave, Zbrush and Vue Infinite to character modelling, rigging and animation; but with a new nephew who's just 4 days old now, its hard to concentrate with so much going on.

All is not truely lost though, I've made a dent in the Blue Fusion work needed. I'm working on the CG intro shot. Here's the opening clip:
atoms_small.mov [485KB]

Then I've been working on a lego car which will be the basis of the next shot, as it drives across the surface of Mars.

But while I'm trying my best to get the most return from my time off, it has made me evaluate further what life would be like if I was fully freelancing and didn't have to try to find fragments of time left in my day to pursue a career in 3D. As I've mentioned before that there could be an opportunity for me to freelance in the near future; I think I'm almost ready to know what type of offer would make me seriously consider it.

But come next week I'll fall back into the old way of thinking and get on with, well, normal work. Oh well, can't win them all.

2006-06-27T21:58:00.000+01:00

Had the meeting about the Blue Fusion video today and indeed the direction is to rework it into a corporate video. It sure does sound like a great opportunity having the chance to work on a project like this. Having the lab director see the original version (which was created the day after a black tie birthday party, involving much alcohol), and see potential in it was quite exciting. So that shall be added to my list of things to do, including Matt's music video, HTX video, web site work and, oh yeah, the day job. No wonder why my garden is getting overgrown.

So this video will most likely involve recording some interviews on site, then editing using (if I get my way), Adobe Premiere Pro, After Effect 7, and naturally, some LightWave.

Do I get time out of my day job to work on this? Answer: No; that would make life way too easy. I'm just glad of the opportunity, but I'm not yet sure how I'll pull it off. There are other things of a higher priority at the moment.

But, amongst the mayhem of my life feeling like someone selecting all the desktop icons and pressing the 'Enter' key, I did managed to take delivery of, not 1, not 2, but 7 (yes 7) new training DVDs. These Kurv DVSs consist of 6 LightWave ones; ranging from industrial modelling to lighting and shading; and one ZBrush one.

So what do you get if you mix LightWave with ZBrush? Dunno, but you can see for yourself:
LightWaveAndZBrush.mov (625KB)

2006-06-24T23:47:00.000+01:00

So I seem to be caught up in a whirlwind of projects at the moment. IBM is showing that final push to do what should have been done months ago (don't worry, I've learnt not to believe in miracles). Freelance work is full-on with coding a new payment gateway and full backend order and stock management system. Whoah! Plus there's that HTX (Hursley Technical Exchange) video that needs editing and music sequencing added; but simply not of a priority at the moment.

Tuesday shall be interesting where I have a meeting about adapting my Blue Fusion video for some corporate presentation. Should be an interesting meeting, and as usual, the prediction will be that will end up with more work to do.

I'm also putting together some ideas for a music video for The Rivers of Sound. The track in mind will be Dreamer's Dream. I plan for it to involve CG, composition in After Effects and green screen shots of the band. Sure it's an ambitious project, but if I pull it off, my portfolio will actually have some merit.

But to keep my creative mind flowing (pun intended), I've been playing around with the awesome open-source Blender 3D. Now, you may be thinking, why use a free application like Blender when I already own LightWave and Modo. The answer is because it now supports fluid dynamics.

So here's what I created (QuickTime required):

A simple blob that splashes on the ground.
FluidTest.mov (145KB)

Now lets try to fill a mug with a pool of falling water which involves setting the proper materials.
MugFluidTest.mov (667KB)

But after realising that the native Blender renderer has a bug (hence the dotted grid on the floor), I discovered that I should be using the open-source render Yafray. And of course, why flood the scene while I'm at it.
MugFluidTestPour.mov (1.58MB)

My plan now is to figure out how to export the fluid animation into LightWave. But that is sadly a challenge for another day as I've got other work I need to be doing. My biggest dream is the day I only have one 9-5 job; how sad is that.

2006-05-27T13:34:00.000+01:00

It's been almost a month since my first blog entry. Things have quietened down in my day job, but I'm still very busy with my freelance work. But, the good news is that in that time, I've been able to expand my creative toolset with the Adobe Production Studio and the release of modo 201. Very exiting stuff.

So without further ado, here is my first modo render:

I have also had the pleasure of receiving the Stash Issue 19 DVD which demonstrates commercial and non-commercial creative work from around the world. Do check out the trailer on the web site as there's some very impressive work in there.

A great animated trailer that I recommend you to check out is Freerange by Seed Animation. There is a nice 17MB QuickTime trailer available for download.

There is also a great movie called Brick that you should check out if you're into your Film Noirs. Fully financed by the director's friends and family and edited on a Mac using Final Cut Pro in his bedroom. Talk about inspiring for us mere mortals.

Anyway, back to work now; but watch this space for some After Effect related entries as I get to put my paws on some of its awesome power. What could be more fun that motion tracking a juggler.

2006-04-29T19:43:00.000+01:00

If someone were to ask me if I enjoy life, I'd say yes. But if they were to ask me if I was happy, I'd give a different answer.

For the past few years, I've felt this void in my life, yet even though things have changed and moved along; I'm still sitting there at the beginning. Welcome to my blog, a documented journey of how I plan to change the answer to that second question. How I can, indeed, find that happiness I've been wanting for so long.

So, before I can get started, there are a few things that I need to identify before I can start. So, lets start by figuring out who I am, in my life, as it is...

my life at the start
I'm 24, single, living alone in Southampton and work for IBM along with being a freelancer. I graduated from Northampton University in 2003, worked for myself for a year before deciding that it was time to get my life started. So I got a job at IBM Hursley and moved down South. A year later I brought my own house.

Then I was sitting in my house thinking, ‘that's another tick in the box’. I've got a great job, a house, but wait, there's still that huge void. And it got me thinking, what do I really and truly want out of life? I owe it to myself to answer that as we only get one life, so it would be a crime not to find our ambitions and go for it.

So to figure out what this void is, I need to identify, what is it that, well, makes me happy...

things that I value in life
There are two things that I desire the most in life. Of course, health and security go without saying so I won’t mention those. These two things are people and creativity.

The day that I find that special someone who I can feel at one with and want to spend the rest of my life with will truly be the happiest day of my life. People are important. We need friends and family to keep us going in this world. We need people to share life's experiences with. And of course, we need that special someone also. So, I would say I value the idea of that special someone. So that is what would make me happy.

Creativity. When I was in university basically doing the equivalent of a programming degree, I decided, programming is fun (give or take), but it can be a little boring and repetitive. So I decided that I wanted to pursue a creative direction. When I hear someone play a beautiful piece of music on the piano or guitar, or I see an outstanding pencil drawing capturing the emotion of the subject, I see something very powerful. Something that is pure talent. A connection between the artist and their work for the value of others. Oh how I would have loved to be a true artist to impress everyone else. I believe that would be my way of attention seeking opposed to being the joker of the crowd or the party animal.

i'm no artist
I can't draw to save my life. Shame. But I do believe that with the right amount of time, dedication and motivation, I could find a talent in there and become an artist of both vision and sound. People may be born with or without artistic skills, but maybe this dedication could not just teach someone these skills, but actually unlock a hidden talent that's been there since the beginning.

what art?
My problem is that I take too much interest in a variety of things that I can't focus on any one in particular for any length of time to actually become proficient at it. I want to play the piano and read music like I'm reading a kids story. I want to play the guitar and apply those skills into some amazing music pieces created using the computer. I also want to be a great 3D modeller and animator producing both photorealistic visual effects to fully blown character animated movies. That would also require a strong talent in tradition drawing to understand the concepts of building characters that can actually be animated.

my problem
I do have a problem. This is both time and energy. Its difficult being able to work a full time job, work a part-time freelance job, have that thing called a social life and on top of it all, put time into learning these new skills and actually producing some piece of work at the end.

I love working at IBM in Hursley. It’s such a cool place to work at. Being in the countryside with a superb mix of people makes the day both fun and exciting. There has not been a day where I've woken up and not wanted to go to work. That's simply because it’s so relaxing working in Hursley. The work however, could be more interesting. By more interesting, it could involve doing the visual effects for a new Spielberg movie. Somehow, I don't see it happening, thus my problem.

I will be extremely surprised if I am at IBM for another 2 years. The work and the career progression doesn't interest me enough for me to want to sell my life to being an IBM'er. I want to so far too many other things.

But after a day at IBM, I come home and I have freelance work to attend to on evenings and weekends. There will never be a day when I don't have some piece of work that needs my attention. That I've come to accept. My life is driven by the urgency of which people need me to do something.

my fears
I have two fears. The first one is that if I were to meet someone special, my priorities would chance so much that a few years down the line I will regret never having chased my ambitions. My second fear is that I never meet that special someone.

My priority of course is finding that special someone and living that fun and exciting life, sharing each moment as though its the last.

my future
I know where I want to be in 10 years time. That's easy. I even know how I could get there, to a degree. But that path would mean losing IBM and that way of life. A sacrifice that I'm only prepared to make if there's something else in my life that brings me closer to my true happiness. That transition will need to happen where I have the support from many friends and family to ensure that my day-to-day life becomes more exciting than the last. But of course, one true push in the right direction would be finding that special someone who can give me that encouragement like no other.

As my brother's business continues to grow, there's been mention that they will want me to work for them full time, possibly in as soon as 6 months. At face value it seems like a fantastic opportunity (and indeed it is). It would mean more money (almost double that of which I'm earning at IBM), easier and more interesting work, and more time for my creative aspirations. But the thing that is missing is simple. The people. It would mean that I would either be working from home or with my brother and a few colleagues. Sadly, that is something that just doesn't compare to IBM on that front. That is also something I just simply do not have a solution to.

so now what
I can get very frustrated if I feel like I'm stuck in the mud and not going anywhere. However, as much as I know about myself, I do think there might be a way to trick myself into believing tomorrow might bring that happiness I seek. Maybe it’s a sense that the chase is worth more than the catch.

So I have devised a schedule which I plan to put into action when mission pay at IBM is over and my day job can return to normal. Also after the next software deadline for my brother's company has also been completed. Since we are all students of life, I don't think we should stop learning other things as well.

I plan to educate myself and produce satisfactory pieces of work from the following:

traditional drawing
playing the piano
playing the guitar
3D modelling, texturing, animating and rendering
filmmaking and visual effect

For those that truly know me, they know that I have big ambitions, and sometimes can bite off more than I can chew. What I say to that is, good! I would rather do that and fail, than to never try at all. I plan to die happy and with ambition and the day I don't have both of those is the day I'm ready to die.

I have plenty of books and learning materials. All I need now is the motivation and encouragement to use what little time I have to push these in the right direction.

a healthy body to a healthy mind
I used to weigh 14 1/2 stone. Back in 2003-2004 I lost 3 stone. I now weigh just over 12 stone (those who can do the math and can't make it add up forgot to multiply by Christmas and Easter). Even losing that amount of weight has made a world of difference in how I feel. But I know I can do better. I want to weigh less than 11 stone.

So I aim to eat healthy and get that 5 fruit and veg a day. But also I need to take part in more exercise and get my body used to burning off some energy. Sitting at a computer all day doesn't help.

I believe that a healthy body gives a clear and healthy mind that improves confidence and general well being. This I also think is a vital factor in being able to communicate using body language well with other people. So on top of my squeezed schedule of work, more work, creative learning, I want to become healthier.

This blog will document my journey into the unknown and see what happens.